Wednesday, February 22, 2012

If Love Could Have Kept You Alive.....

Shady Acres Natasha Newby Murdoch
better know as

December 1, 1998
February 20, 2012

Yesterday, I lost my best friend.  She was a pure bred Border Collie from a farm in Nehawka, Nebraksa.  We got her as a pup at the age of 8 weeks.  The owner wouldn't let us have her any sooner.  I wish I could say it was love at first sight, but I had my eye on another pup from the litter, a brown and white border collie who had nuzzled up into my lap.  She was so quiet and sweet.  But the only black and white one in the litter caught the eye of my husband and our daughter, Kristi.  This little puppy was so rumbustious and was gnawing and nipping at everything.  2-1.  I was out voted.  So the black and white puppy it was.

On the drive home from Nehawka, that puppy cried and howled the whole way.....I'm sure because she had started to miss her mommy. Everyone in the car tried to comfort her.  There was no comforting her.  If only for a brief second, she nuzzled up behind my neck while I was driving and settled if to say, "Please be happy that they chose me."  And I was.

What a little mischief she was.  She howled the first two nights in her kennel.  I wanted to bring her to bed with us, but my husband put his foot down.  The third night, she finally slept.  But we found ourselves getting up in the middle of the night to let her go "pee-pee".  No one told me that!

She continued to wreak havoc in our house.....chewing up a shoe, finding the tiniest piece of wall paper loose and ripping it all off the wall by backing up with the wallpaper in her mouth!  She pulled back the kitchen vinyl flooring and started "uninstalling" that too.  All of this while we were trying to sell our house.

This post would be too long to tell you all the things she'd done and the wonderful dog that she became.  We were blessed to have Newby with us for over 13 years.  13 wonderful years.  I will never regret the day we decided to get her.  Never.  She has nuzzled her way into my heart, and now that spot is empty....filled only with the memories of her.  She was not "just a dog".  She was part of our family.  But at last, her age and her aging back legs caught up with her so that she could no longer stand or function.  We knew she was in a lot of pain and to hold on to her would have been selfish.  Lincoln and I were with her as she breathed her last breath.  We stayed with her until her little body became cold.  How long was long enough to stay with her lifeless body?  I could have stayed with her forever, but I knew nothing would change the fact that she was gone.....forever.  If love could have kept her alive, she would still be here.

So today, I share with you, in a small dog, my best friend, the one who has loved me all of her life without any conditions, loving with a perfect love, totally devoted to me, following me wherever I would go.  May my life be as devoted to you, Jesus, as Newby's life was to me.

I'll always love you, Newby.

1 comment:

  1. This post is so bittersweet, Jen. The saying goodbye is so horrible, but all the years are so wonderful. And I know our dogs change who we are, too, like you said in your last line. So sorry for your loss, so glad Newby was in your life, and will continue in your heart.
    Love, Cheryl